Pump the Breaks

I haven't been posting much lately because...I really haven't done anything to post about. I have had plenty of horses to ride and play with, but this blog is about Parelli and Sonny and I am not sure how I feel about posting things other than that.

Long story short, Sonny and I have been disconnect the past few weeks. I am not sure how to make this flow, so I am going to use bullets to describe what has been going on:

• I want my green string. I know we can easily get it, I just have to tape it. In order to tape it, there were a few things I wanted to improve on. Perfect opportunity for direct line thinking :(
• I don't have much free time, therefore the time I do spend with Sonny I think should be productive
• Im tired. Very tired. All of the time. 
• Sonny hasn't given me a happy face in weeks. Which makes me frustrated and upset like nothing else. 

I hope that gives you a glimpse into the way our relationship has been feeling lately. When it is put into that kind of list, it looks pretty obvious that we have problems. Ugh. Last week I finally realized that I have to change something (if you always do what you have always done...). I took a step back and looked at the situation. I mentally made the above list. After a minor meltdown and a lot of "Why do I do this", I decided to put myself in time out until I got my attitude together. Sonny is always going to mirror me, and if I am feeling tired, out of time, pressured, goal oriented, frustrated, and upset, well... I am not going to want to even see my mirror. 

Thursday we had PERFECT weather and I was feeling great. I was really looking forward to playing with Sonny so I finally let myself out of time out since I had a fresh, positive perspective. I set up a few things: a small jump, three cones, and a single barrel. I immediately put my LBI hat on, snugger than normal. I often try to slow things down for him, but I am not being 'true' about it. I may slow down physically, but I am still going 100 mph inside. I know LBIs are mentally quick so that sounds right, except my mentally quick feels a lot more like anxiety. I get so worked up over slowing down that my energy isn't slowing down, I am just physically slow. Therefore, I haven't been truly matching his energy lately. Tuesday I was just happy to be with him tried to make that show. I spent lots of time playing the friendly game and actually being relaxed for once.

Along with making an effort to match his energy, I did a few other things that I don't normally do. One was to not push him. We have had a lot of trouble with sideways over the barrel in the past and normally when I want to practice it I just make him go over it. That is so unsavvy of me that I am almost embarrassed to say it. So Thursday I trotted him up next to it, lined him up, then walked him away. He gave me the WHAAAAAT? face and I loved it :). That was the first time in a long time he has asked me a good question like that :).

I didn't play for too long when I did something that is very, very hard for me: I stopped early. The LBE in me wants to go and play and play and play until I accomplish everything that I want to. Of course Sonny hates it and I push him through it. Why would I ever think that was okay? So after a happy 20 minutes I asked him to lay down, he stayed laying until I asked him to get up, then we got up and went and ate grass. It was such a fun day. There wasn't any pressure, there wasn't any expectations, we actually just played.

I am not sure when I crossed the line of the 7 games to the 7 jobs, but I am pretty sure Sonny would say that I definitely crossed it. I feel so bad and embarrassed about it, but I guess it's a good thing to move from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. If I can start applying everything I know to be true, rather than just storing it in my head, I bet I could make a pretty good partner.

Wordless Wednesday

Photo by The Perfect Pear Photography

Double Take

This lovely photo is by The Perfect Pear Photography.

Wait a second....that's not Sonny!

Shhhhh. Don't tell him, but she has stolen my heart (or at least what's left of it, after Sonny has had his fair share).

Meet Allegra. She is the most beautiful, striking, heart throb I have ever seen. In every way she emits fabulousness. She is big, black, and beautiful, not to mention talented. What more could you want in a mare?

If you can't tell, I absolutely adore her. Regardless of her size, I wish I could stick her in my pocket and keep her with me all the time. Even though I can't do that, I love being able to see her every day.

Anyways, she is a spectacular dressage horse who is being boarded at my barn. I really enjoy riding her and will hopefully get to show her some next year. I am sure I will be be posting more about her in the future, including more photos!

Parelli...Without Parelli

I am not going to go into too much detail here, but just some food for thought for the weekend (since I will be too busy to post the next few days).

As I was riding a dressage mare yesterday, I went to pick up my reins like Linda does: I held the buckle with one hand and slid them up through my other hand. I have been playing some with the GoC here and there so it has just become habit for me to do that. Can you guess what the mare did? Stretched into the contact. So just out of curiosity, I just started combing my reins. Can you guess what the mare did? Stretched into the contact even more. Hmmm how interesting! 

Today I started to teach a different mare the seven games. This mare has only had human contact for about a month now, but is three years old. She had spent all that time out in a field with like 200-300 other mares and babies. I didn't plan on doing much with her today because I was expecting to just play friendly game with the carrot stick. Well we blew through the first four games. In half an hour. Wow. Looks like she is LB, but regardless she literally acted like someone had taught her the games before (which is not true). By the end of our quick session, she was already turning and facing me when I just bent over. Phase 1 driving game, in just a few minutes. I know Pat says horses already know levels 1 through 3, but that still blew me away. Something tells me that huge herd of horses had something to do with our success today... Hmmm how interesting!

As I get the opportunity to be around more and more horses (and I will explain more about these two fabulous mares soon), I feel more and more confident in my choice of following Parelli. I have been seeing correlations with horses and owners and training methods and so on, and when I like what I see, I can usually pick up on a few of the quirky, little suggestions of Parelli. But, again, just food for thought ;). 

SUCCESS

I am not one for capital letters, but holy cow today was a fabulous day!!

Yesterday I got a mild break from work, so I got a chance to watch my DVD that had just came in the mail. I found a used 'Jumping with Confidence' DVD by Linda for $5. STEAL. Cheapest Parelli education material I have ever bought. Ever. And worth every single penny!

Not to go into too much detail, but most of the DVD was more about respect than jumping. Turns out that is exactly what I needed. I am going to a hunter pace this weekend and that was why I watched the DVD, but there definitely was a greater lesson to be learned.

So I made it a point today to not be a boring, predictable human. I made it a point to be a good leader every second I could. I got fabulous results! Sonny's faces improved a lot (he hadn't looked at me with two eyes and two ears for a few weeks before today), he did lots of licking and chewing, became interested, and consequently, he jumped!!!!

He jumped everything I asked him to, even the barrels that he loves to run out on. He put so much effort into going over them not only online, but also freestyle :). That had been a HUGE problem for us, but today he didn't think twice about jumping them every time I pointed him at them. Awesome!

So fabulous day riding. Once I was done he was all hot and sweaty so I thought it would be a good time to ask him to lay down. Once he started rolling, I played porcupine game on his halter and gently asked him to lay flat. Without even thinking about it, he laid down and stayed there until I asked him to get up. I may have had a mini heart attack I was so elated. I have been wishing and hoping for this moment for SUCH a long time and today it finally happened :). YAHOO!!! Our relationship must really be improving; I feel like he trusts me so much more now.

Tomorrow I plan to play with a little game of contact and ask for the laying down again! Hope it goes just as well as it did today!

Love this Kid. 

Wordless Wednesday

On a happier note from my post last night, here are a few pictures from the 3/4 clinic I participated in over the summer with Jesse Peters. I don't think I have shared these before, but I apologize if any are a repeat.

Love this picture! 

Look at that expression :).

If I were you....

Rant

I stumbled upon this last night and have been thinking a lot about it. 

I have been doing Parelli for over three years now. I realized long ago that 'haters gonna hate' and I come to terms about it. I can't just tell everyone that parelli is the answer, they have to find out for themselves and all I can do is show them with my actions and keep my words to myself. 

BUT, that comic really bothered me. For one, could it be any more insulting? I know a lot of people think Parelli students just wave around their sticks, but serious? All we do is shake our sticks at horses? And along the lines of insulting, the human just had to be a cowboy, right? 

I am also annoyed that I get the feeling from the quote that "warmbloods are too good for parelli". Parelli is only good for the cowboys; quarter horses, right? ALL horses could use parelli. I don't care if it is some fancy, dancy show horse, a backyard pony, or a working plow horse. Parelli is what's natural and therefore what is best for the horse. 

Another thing that bothers me is the author's note:

I'm not against 'Natural Horsemanship' per se.... but I am baffled by how expensive it is. Does anyone else find it ironic that 'Natural Horsemanship' requires very unnatural training aids? Just a thought. 

"I am not against natural horsemanship, but I am going to straight up insult anyone who does it". And unnatural training aids? Our rope halter's and our extension of our arm's are SO unnatural, but metal bits and flash nosebands to tie your horse's mouth shut are completely natural.

My BIGGEST problem with this comic is the lack of knowledge behind it. If you are going to insult a large group of people, at least know your facts. I have shown dressage for over 10 years and done Parelli for over 3, so I have a pretty good handle on both. If you aren't familiar with dressage, let me give you a little bit of history.

As wikipedia explains it:

The Western World's earliest complete surviving work on many of the principles of classical dressage is Xenophon'sOn Horsemanship. Xenophon emphasized training the horse through kindness and reward.

Interesting. Training the horse through kindess and reward. That has doesn't have ANYTHING to do with Parelli, does it?

If you look further into Xenophon, you can easily find this:

What makes Xenophon’s work so remarkable is his concern for the horse’s well-being. He is the first author who insists that the rider has to win his horse’s friendship and willing cooperation, because otherwise the training will have very little value, aesthetic or otherwise. He wrote: “For what the horse does under compulsion, as Simon also observes, is done without understanding; and there is no beauty in it either, any more than if one should whip and spur a dancer. There would be a great deal more ungracefulness than beauty in either a horse or a man that was so treated. No, he should show off all his finest and most brilliant performances willingly and at a mere sign.” This principle remains as relevant today as it was 2500 years ago.

Source: http://www.artisticdressage.com/articles/history1.html

"He...insists that the rider has to win the horse's friendship and willing cooperation". Okay seriously, did this Xenophon guy quote Pat Parelli or what?

Obviously the ignorant author of this comic had no idea what a) dressage is truly about and b) what the principles of parelli are (putting the relationship first). I am so frustrated that dressage and parelli go so closely hand in hand, and yet there are still people out there who think their fancy warmbloods are too good for old cowboy stuff. Maybe they should ask the O'Connor's, but they weren't in the olympics or anything....

My point: If you are going to insult someone, at least have some sort of idea what you are talking about. Know your facts. And more importantly: I don't care if you like Parelli or not. I might feel sorry for your horse, but I could care less if you don't like what works so well for me. But don't insult me for my beliefs. Don't bash me for treating my horse in the way he deserves to be treated. 

There. I said it. Now I can go back to keeping my thoughts to myself.

Exactly.